I love getting email from readers of Free The Pizza. Lately, there are all kinds of exciting developments for my pizza newbies. There’s the guy from a restaurant-business family who’s excited to be buying his first pizza steel to replace his pizza stone. There are a couple of portable outdoor oven owners who’ve found value in the “purpose and intent” paradigm of Free The Pizza. It has helped them master their outdoor ovens. (That’s fascinating to me, since I focus on the home oven.) Another pizza newbie was finding his big green kamado cooker to be a lousy pizza oven. After using my book to crank great pizza out of his home oven, he canceled his order on a $1,200 wood-fired dome oven. In short, there are all kinds of great things that readers tell me about their respective pizza journeys. So I’m a little bit hesitant to confess my own new step into pizza making nonsense. Ready?
I just bought a new pizza oven. “What is wrong with you!?” I’m sure my wife was saying that under her breath when I brought it home. I’m sure if you know me at all, you’re asking me the same question from the other side of this screen. And really, the answer to what is wrong with me is pretty simple. I have a sickness. And it’s not just pizza. It’s compounded by bargain-itis. That’s a clinical inability to pass up a screamin’ deal. And as I was walking through the gardening department at Walmart with a bag of potting soil and I saw the infamous Expert Grill charcoal pizza oven from Walmart on sale for $59, it was like grabbing a live chicken by the feet and waving it at a wolverine. I chomped down on that box with my canines. I wrestled it off the high shelf and dragged it kicking and screaming and perhaps even bleeding into my cart. Then, I raced for the self-checkout, the air around my filled with potting soil. (I of course picked the bag with holes in it.) Right now, four hours later, that oven still in the box. It’s been in the house all afternoon, but I’ve not yet unpacked it. That's tomorrow. Today, I’m unpacking and assembling a China Box that’s been in storage for about 15 years. (Don’t ask why. But there’s a big Cuban barbecue party next weekend and I have work to do.) That said, here’s what I already know about the oven. At 15 inches, it makes a bigger pizza than the smallest Ooni. Unlike my older version of the smallest Ooni, which is a pellet-fired 12-inch, this new oven is fired with charcoal. I also know that at least one user has complained about high heat making a) the paint inside the oven bubble off onto the cooking surface and b) the handle on the door melt. I’m going to assume that does not happen with mine. With only one such complaint from 100+ reviews, there’s a degree of question regarding the complaint's veracity. Still, wouldn’t it be fun to get that bubbling melted plastic limited edition? And I know there’s a good chance this oven will be a pain in the ass to use. I’m not worried about that. I’ve already decided I will hate using this oven. If the reality is different, it will be a pleasant surprise. Either way, I will report about it next week. Because I know that like most pizza geeks who read these turgid tomes, you have Big Questions. You wonder if buying a purpose-built oven will change your game. I can say without reservation that yes, it will—if you buy the right oven and you can endure the hassle. The Ooni did not change my game. I’ve never had enough interest in mastering that tiny, cruel oven. I've used it to make a lot of crappy pizza. The oven that changed my game was a 1,200-pound Earthstone. That oven cost $7,000, and it still lives inside the house we built around it and then sold many years later. It’s still installed there but I am not. That oven turned pizza night into an 8-hour process. From first lighting the fire to making pizza and sending the last guest home, it was like having a parttime job. The pizza was great, but it was also inconvenient. The home oven remains my favorite oven—in part because I am not a Neapolitan pizza chauvinist. I prefer a structured, American-style pizza that is baked at 550 degrees in a deck oven. And the home oven can be used to approximate that experience. But for 60 bucks, I’m willing to be a guinea pig for the Walmart charcoal pizza oven experience. Is it easier than an Ooni? Will it even work? Will I go over to the dark side and start making Neapolitan pizza like a maniac? Who knows? Stay tuned for the next installment of Walmart Oven Mania, here in the Saturday Afternoon Pizza Posts at Free The Pizza. It will probably not be pretty. (You’ve been warned…) Are you baffled by the journey through basic pizza preparedness? All kinds of pizzamakers (even some experienced ones) are enjoying the guidelines in the fast and funny pizzamaker’s manual, Free The Pizza! (A Simple System For Making Great Pizza Whenever You Want With The Oven You Already Have), which you can find at Amazon by clicking here.
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AuthorBlaine Parker is the award-winning author of the bestselling, unusual and amusing how-to pizza book, Free The Pizza. Also known as The Pizza Geek and "Hey, Pizza Man!", Blaine is fanatical about the idea that true, pro-quality pizza can be made at home. His home. Your home. Anyone's home. After 20 years of honing his craft and making pizza in standard consumer ovens across the nation, he's sharing what he's learned with home cooks like you. Are you ready to pizza? Archives
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