What was it like the first time you made an actual pizza? We’re not talking a Thomas’s English Muffin pizza, or a Chef Boyardee pizza kit-in-a-box pizza. No Boboli-and-Ragu pizza. We’re talking a from-scratch, kneading-the-dough-yourself pizza baked in your home oven that came out and surprised you by tap dancing on your tongue. What did that pizza taste like? How did it make you feel? Did it change your world even a smidge?
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What exactly is a COVID pizza? I think you’re looking at it in the photo above. As some people I know might say, “Dude, that cheese pizza is righteous!” OK, maybe so—until you see the whole thing. You’ll get to see it in just a moment. There are people who will never be able to make a pizza. They won't even try. Some folks will try it once, and decide it’s not for them. And then there are people who seem to be able to produce a fresh, hot, savory, tangy, cheesy, mind-bending home-baked pizza whenever they want—to the point where the conversation goes something like this: “What do you want to eat? I can grill a chicken, make linguine in white clam sauce, or bake a sausage and mushroom pizza.” How do they do this? “It was one of those moments where you say, ‘This is a perfect bite.’” That’s an actual quote from someone eating this pizza--one of my harshest critics, in fact. If you’re already making homemade pizza at any level, the pizza she’s talking about is easy to assemble, nobody sees it coming, and people love it. Welcome to the unexpected--The Land of Shrimp & Garlic Pizza. We’re going to talk about: 1) how to make it, 2) what goes on it, and 3) how to handle it so it amazes your friends and family and makes you a homemade pizza superhero. Will your pizza go round in circles, and will your guests fly high like a bird up in the sky--all because your homemade pizza is finally round? Apologies to Billy Preston. But maybe that song is a good alternative to having this conversation. Here, see if this is better for you than making round pizza: https://youtu.be/U5-bJkoLWMY?si=2npbZpF_VbER_Ey6. Scott always seems to be halfway to an enthusiastic grin. He's also pretty clear about his enthusiasm for this new gig. “When they asked me if I want to teach a class with Peter, there's a no-brainer. That's like a dream situation.” Peter, who also exhibits an enviable level of preternatural happiness, says, “I think there are people that just have a passion for it, and they have the means and the time to be able to do this, and there are folks who just want to gobble up knowledge and experience.” NEWSFLASH: Two of the nicest guys in the entire pizza ecosystem are getting together and teaching a 3-day course in pizza dough at the world-famous Pizza University, based in that garden spot of pizza, Beltsville, Maryland. And now you’re asking yourself the right question: In what bizarre world of homemade pizza would you be thinking, “Hey, I should travel to that greater Baltimore school for pizzeria operators and take that 3-day course about mixing together water, flour, salt and yeast?” Getting ready to make that first pizza can be daunting. So can making the second, the third—heck, it’s pizza anxiety and it can be debilitating. I’ve known people who can’t start any new kitchen project with a process because they’re freaked out by the possibility of making mistakes. And pizza is one of those kitchen projects with a process that inspires with fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of making mistakes. Fear of handling dough. Fear of ending up with a freeform calzone. How can you mitigate the fear? To some degree, it’s merely about preparing well and then just making it so. Right now, there’s a loaf of rye bread cooling in my kitchen. You know how many times I’ve made rye bread? I haven’t offered a simple kitchen tip in a while, so here it comes. Get ready for the ensuing mayhem. If you’ve spent any time around here, you’ve heard me say it: Scales are not necessary for making pizza. I’ve said as much to pizza pros, who instantly label me a scoffer and a misanthropist. So be it. Among American home cooks, there’s a clear and resonant hatred of the dreaded kitchen scale. I have a theory for why this is. It’s related to a less-than-stellar education system. How daring are you, and are you ready for a crazy pizza challenge that sounds easier than it might really be? Would you like to try making a polarizing form of pizza using a barely tested dough? First, a short tale, and then some details. (And know those details are all reflected in the pizza in the photo above, which is an actual Free The Pizza Production developed using the methods in question.) Last week, the conversation was pizza inspiration that knows no sane boundaries. And that’s fine. It’s so much better than the tyranny of “Pepperoni or nothing!” This week, part 2 of our conversation with Serhan Ayhan puts the spotlight on the truth about ovens and the things that matter more. (Flour, anybody?) And perhaps the most important thing you need for making pizza is free. In fact, it’s impossible to buy… |
AuthorBlaine Parker is the award-winning author of the bestselling, unusual and amusing how-to pizza book, Free The Pizza. Also known as The Pizza Geek and "Hey, Pizza Man!", Blaine is fanatical about the idea that true, pro-quality pizza can be made at home. His home. Your home. Anyone's home. After 20 years of honing his craft and making pizza in standard consumer ovens across the nation, he's sharing what he's learned with home cooks like you. Are you ready to pizza? Archives
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