 PART 3 IN A 7-PART SERIES Welcome to the third point of focus for pursuing pizza perfection (knowing, of course, that perfection is unattainable). This part of the process can get people all worked up. I’m not sure why. I suspect it has something to do with a) our trust in machines, and b) the distrust of our innate abilities, which those machines have beaten into us.
Since we’ve already focused on 1) Style Of Pizza and 2) The Oven, it’s time to focus on 3) Making Dough. This is all going to sound insanely simple. Ya know why? Because it is. It's so simple, it freaks people out. And I will freely admit this: since focusing on this part of the process more, my pizza has improved considerably. And it almost happened by a glorious accident. My stand mixer was in storage and I couldn't get to it.
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 The Ongoing Modernist Pizza Review, Volume 1, Chapter 5, "Pizza Ovens" (Part I)Modernist Pizza Written by Nathan Myhrvold and Francisco Migoya Published by The Cooking Lab; First edition, October 19, 2021 Hardcover: 1708 pages, 32.7 pounds, 13.78 x 10.24 x 15.94 inches List Price: $425.00 Amazon discount price as of 03/08/23: $294.99 Last time, we reviewed Modernist Pizza’s pulling back of the curtain on mysteries related to dough ingredients. Today, we’re going to look at how their discussion of my personal favorite topic: The Pizza Oven!
The Modernistas give pizzaioli a lot of credit. They begin the oven section by discussing how intuition matters and must be honed. They tell us that most bakers understand instinctively that baking is an art form, but it is also a process that is physical, chemical and biological. Presumably, they’re speaking more of pros than amateurs. Speaking as an amateur, I know that it’s easy for us to get out of our depth on pizza making and think we still know what we’re talking about. And that certainly extends to amateur oven knowledge.  PART 2 IN A 7-PART SERIES.
Maybe you’ve seen the photo: a picture of what looks like The Charcoal-Tortured Dough Monster That Ate Naples. In the twisted wreckage of this pile of alternately half-baked and black-scorched pizza ingredients is a substance formerly known as cheese, some reddish, sauce-like protoplasm, and the scant remains of an unidentifiable cased meat product, all of it looking amoeba-like and desperate to escape the camera’s eye. And there’s the post that goes with it: “What am I doing wrong!? I just got my oven and I can’t get it hot enough and I’m making ugly, deformed pizza and I’ve thrown away nine of them this weekend alone and I hate life! Help me.” Welcome to Pizza Social meeting the lack of focus.  The Ongoing Modernist Pizza Review, Volume 1, Chapter 4, "Pizza Dough Ingredients" (Part II)Modernist Pizza Written by Nathan Myhrvold and Francisco Migoya Published by The Cooking Lab; First edition, October 19, 2021 Hardcover: 1708 pages, 32.7 pounds, 13.78 x 10.24 x 15.94 inches List Price: $425.00 Amazon discount price as of 03/08/23: $294.99 Welcome back to the epic Roller Coaster of Pizza Dough Ingredients. Last time, we were reviewing the Modernist Pizza discussion about water, flour, salt and yeast. In one short section of the chapter, this grand book pulls back the curtain on all kinds of mysteries related to basic pizza dough and the attendant water, flour, salt and yeast. They've covered the essentials. Next up, the incidentals…
SUGAR Reading and quoting from Modernist Pizza is always interesting. They’re approaching pizza scientifically, but seem to be aware that this is not a college textbook. It’s hard to imagine anything like this appearing in a scholarly tome in any of my science classes: “All organisms need sugar to survive, but yeast cells might have the biggest sweet tooth of all—it’s the only food they eat. Enzymes turn the starch in flour into an all-you-can-eat buffet of sugars, which the yeast cells metabolize into energy, alcohol and carbon dioxide, and the other byproducts of fermentation. The meal is a slow crawl that lasts hours—the concentration of sugar in the dough is limited by the pace of the enzymes.”  THE FIRST IN A 7-PART SERIES.
Want to make perfect pizza? That’s fine—as long as you’re prepared for disappointment. Perfection is unattainable. Yet, just pursuing perfection comes with its own satisfaction. And the beauty of imperfect pizza is: Hey, eat it, enjoy it, and it’s still better than take-out. There’s also a secret ingredient in the pursuit of perfect pizza. It’s available anywhere you live. You can (and should) be using this secret ingredient, whether you’re a total beginner or a serious pro. And it doesn’t cost you anything. Yes, the secret ingredient is the dreaded F-word: Focus. In pizza, focus is everything. But it also makes people wary and nervous. Focus sounds like work. Focus has become synonymous with intensity. Pizza is fun! Focus sounds un-fun. The reality is that focus makes work easier. Focus is often an absence of intensity. Focus makes pizza more fun. And focused pizza tastes better.  The Ongoing Modernist Pizza Review, Volume 1, Chapter 4, "Pizza Dough Ingredients" (Part I)Modernist Pizza Written by Nathan Myhrvold and Francisco Migoya Published by The Cooking Lab; First edition, October 19, 2021 Hardcover: 1708 pages, 32.7 pounds, 13.78 x 10.24 x 15.94 inches Amazon discount price as of 03/08/23: $294.99 For the last few installments of the Modernist Pizza review, we’ve been traveling the world with the Modernistas. They’ve been eating pizza from New York to New Haven, Tokyo to Chicago, and pretty much anywhere else that pizza is a force.
Here’s where all that changes. Now, in Modernist Pizza, Volume 1, Chapter 4, "Pizza Dough Ingredients," we start getting into the hands-on, home-pizzamaker-relevant aspects of pizza. And it all starts with… Pizza Dough Ingredients! Like so many of us, the folks at Modernist Cuisine are amazed that simple ingredients like water, flour, salt and yeast, and sometimes oil and/or sugar, can “yield crusts with incredibly divergent flavors and textures, from the chewy, wide-open rim of Neapolitan pizza to the crackerlike crispness of thin crust pizza. Yes, we all want pizza. But as The Pizza Buddha says: If calzone is inevitable, relax and enjoy it.12/10/2022  It’s going to happen. It happens when you least expect it. It throws you. It’s disappointing. Whatever form it takes for you, you’re going to eventually make one: The dreaded Accidental Calzone.
It’s sad. It’s infuriating. It’s a raging mess. Accept it with grace. The Accidental Calzone puts us square in the land of spilt milk. There’s no un-spilling the milk. There’s no saving the pizza. It just sucks, so enjoy it.  The Ongoing Modernist Pizza Review, Volume 1, Chapter 3, "Pizza Travels" (Part III)Modernist Pizza Written by Nathan Myhrvold and Francisco Migoya Published by The Cooking Lab; First edition, October 19, 2021 Hardcover: 1708 pages, 32.7 pounds, 13.78 x 10.24 x 15.94 inches List Price: $425.00 Amazon discount price as of 03/08/23: $294.99 Legendary pizza can lead to legendary disappointment. To wit: a crust that is “Dry and dense, almost like hardtack,” “charred to the point of being burnt,” “very low on salt,” “lackluster sauce," "toppings tossed on haphazardly, and a paltry grating of Pecorino.”
Welcome back to Pizza Travels with the Modernist Pizza crew. When we saw you last time, we were talking about the challenges of nostalgia. Such challenges infect certain objects of New York-style pizza love. But perhaps nowhere did the Modernistas experience the dangerous challenges of nostalgia as they did in New Haven. The list of shortcomings in the first paragraph above were leveled at some of the most beloved pizza in the United States: That of the legendary New Haven. Their research took them to all the big, important icons of New Haven pizza. And their report? Talk about a slap in the face with a wet slice.  “Here’s the wrong thing! Merry Christmas!” How do you know you’re buying the right gift for the hobbyist in your life? That’s one of the biggest, hairiest questions when it comes to buying specialty products for a specialized hobby like making pizza.
With pizza, the one question that’s off the table for me is, “What oven should I buy him/her?” Whenever someone asks me what my favorite oven is, I say, “My home oven.” I don’t know why it is, but some people just LOVE hearing that answer. But it’s an easy pick for me. After learning to make pizza in a 1950s Wedgewood stove; after owning both a half-ton, $7,000 wood-fired dome oven and a $300 pellet-fired outdoor pizza oven; and after making pizza in the home ovens of friends from California to New Hampshire, it’s simple. The home oven can be set up quickly with a steel, gets to about the same temperature as the deck oven in a typical pizzeria, and it’s far easier to use. |
AuthorBlaine Parker is the award-winning author of the new, unusual and amusing how-to pizza book, Free The Pizza. Also known as The Pizza Geek and "Hey, Pizza Man!", Blaine is fanatical about the idea that true, professional-quality pizza can be made at home. His home. Your home. Anyone's home. After 20 years of honing his craft and making pizza in standard consumer ovens across the nation, he's sharing what he's learned with home cooks like you. Are you ready to pizza? Archives
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