If it's a homemade pizza, can you really say it's New Haven style, is it authentic, or is it just an insult to the gods of "apizza"?

How daring are you, and are you ready for a crazy pizza challenge that sounds easier than it might really be?
 
Would you like to try making a polarizing form of pizza using a barely tested dough?
 
First, a short tale, and then some details. (And know those details are all reflected in the pizza in the photo above, which is an actual Free The Pizza Production developed using the methods in question.)

Once upon a time, there was a strange little world of No-Knead Pizza Geeks. No-knead bread and pizza were popularized by the great Jim Lahey of Sullivan Street Bakery, and Co., his pizza joint (closed in 2018 after a 10-year run). 
 
Home cooks often refuse to make dough because it requires kneading. No-knead dough is one solution. Not kneading is free, which is cheaper than buying a giant, restaurant-grade planetary mixer painted a nifty bright color for the home kitchen all at the price of a bad used car.
 
But there is a small downside: handling no-knead dough can be difficult. It has a high hydration level and is very wet. It sticks to you like contact cement.
 
You’ll get this dough on everything. It’ll end up on your hairdo and in your eyelash extensions. It will require a pressure washer to blast it off of everything in your kitchen. It will cement the dog to the cat like a Dr. Dolittle animal gone horribly wrong.
 
Well, OK. That last paragraph is mainly a lie. This is just pizza dough, not a spray gun filled with fast-curing polyester resin. (I’ve worked with polyester resin, which has lots of toxic fumes, and might partly explain how I ended up this way.)
 
Anway, no-knead dough is wet. It’s sticky and can be challenging to work with. But the results can be very rewarding. And I’ve begun dabbling in it.
 
Now, next stop on the Metro North line, the Willoughby of pizza paradises, New Haven! For years, on and off, I’ve been dabbling in New Haven-style pizza.
 
Are you familiar with this sacred beast? (And yes, it is sacred. Do not cross the New Haven pizza faithful or you could lose a limb.) This pizza was first developed in New Haven, Connecticut during the early 20th century by the city’s Neapolitan diaspora.
 
There are legendary New Haven pizzerias. The big three are Frank Pepe Pizza Napoletana, Sally’s Apizza, and Modern Apizza. These are considered the standard bearers, backed up by many, many other excellent pizzerias that also produce some version of “apizza.”
 
What is “apizza” and why is it spelled that way? If you're a word lover, it might make you recoil in anger, confusion and loathing because you have no reference for it. But once you learn why it exists, things get better. Here now, I will make it better.
 
The word “apizza” is Neapolitan. Didn’t know that Neapolitan is its own language? Yep, from Vulgar Latin. And how much does that comfort us knowing that there’s such a thing as Vulgar Latin? (Even if I can’t speak it, I suddenly feel like I’m in a safe space.)
 
The word is pronounced “ah-beetz.” It’s a Neapolitan “corruption” (if you will) of the word “pizza.” And fans of New Haven-style pizza love to yell “Ah-beetz!” like it’s a badge of honor, a battle cry, or a mating call.
 
And it’s understandable: New Haven is considered a pizza mecca. People travel from all over the country to visit New Haven and try the apizza (though they may never learn how to pronounce it).

The style of the pizza itself is controversial. Typically, the crumb is more closed, with smaller bubbles than its New York-style or Neapolitan counterparts. It's often characterized by excessive char.

Frequently, the pizza is more about the tomato than it is about the cheese. At some New Haven pizzerias, a "plain pizza" has no mozzarella. It has parmigiano Reggiano only. (One online ordering system even requires you to check a box indicating that you understand there is no mozzarella on this pizza.)
 
So after playing around with no-knead dough, and playing around with apizza, I wondered… Is it possible to combine the two?
 
Lo and behold! No-Knead New Haven-Style Pizza Dough! Is the resulting pizza authentic? Let's call it authentic-ish. 
 
I also can’t say that it’s perfect--yet. It needs more testing. But so far, it has produced some promising results. I’m baking in a home oven with a baking steel using the broiler method described in my book, and it has produced a fairly convincing apizza.
 
Certain New Haven apizza is known for its high degree of char. I’ve developed some char, but not a lot. (This is a process. We’ll get there eventually.) But I was able to develop a crispy, relatively closed-crumb pizza that suggests a competent New Haven-style apizza.
 
So the big question: Would you like to try this pizza recipe? That’s a loaded question, I know—especially coming from someone who says that pizza is not about recipes, it’s about practice. But if you’ve developed a practice, you can apply those skills to a sticky dough that might scare away the more faint of heart.
 
And then you might make a new, crowd-pleasing pizza that elevates your status as a pizza god. There’s also a bonus here: eliminate the oil and sugar from this recipe, and you have plain old no-knead pizza dough. Handled well, it’ll produce a pizza like you’ve never had before.
 
If you want to play this game, just click here. Fill out the form, and in the comment section, write “APIZZA!”
 
I’m working on the recipe document right now. If you reply as per the instructions above, I’ll send it to you as soon as it’s ready.
 
I ask one small favor in return: you email me with news about how it worked out for you. If this works well, it might turn into a book and you will be acknowledged therein for your participation.
 
If it doesn’t end up becoming a book? If everyone hates getting sticky dough in their eyelash extensions and having to pressure wash their kitchens and their pets, I will still thank you profusely for your participation.
 
Click here to play the game. (This offer is good through January 31, 2024. But if you find this post after that date, click and see what happens. Ya never know.)

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If you’re still thinking about starting your pizza journey, one good place to do so is inside Free The Pizza. Really, it’s A Simple System For Making Great Pizza Whenever You Want With The Oven You Already Have. It’s a manual that takes you from zero to pizza with a few laughs along the way. Also, if you buy a hard copy, I'll send you an autographed book plate. If you buy the Kindle edition, know that there are printable cheat sheets on this website so you can take them into the kitchen and spill red sauce all over them. ​