 October is National Pizza Month. This 31-day celebration of all things pizza-ish is usually about pizzerias giving great deals, pizzerias giving back, people eating pizza—all the things you’d expect.
What I don’t see a lot of during national pizza month is a) a lot of celebration about making pizza at home, or b) a lot of stupid pizza tricks--of which there are many. Here now, a single article to fix all of that. Welcome to baby’s first artisan upside-down-skillet pizza! Yes, you’re probably wondering what your peripatetic pizzaiolo has been putting on his mushroom pizza. Nothing you can’t get in a supermarket, be assured. I wanted to prove it is possible to make an artisan pizza without any special tools. Here’s the method. It’s actually a pretty smart stupid pizza trick, something I did last week on the spur of the moment. Does this seem daunting? Trust me, it’s far easier than using a lot of the little outdoor pizza ovens on the market.
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 FAIR WARNING: This is probably the only homemade pizza story you'll ever read that involves the British Monarchy, men's fashion, fine dining, Netflix and sex. Proceed at your own discretion.
In social media pizza groups, it doesn't take long to notice who’s making the great looking homemade pizzas. One of those pizza people is Kevin Godbee. His pies quickly catch your attention. His pizzas look really good, and he is relentless about producing them. It was also impressive when Kevin asked for my New York-style pizza dough recipe. It was still in the early stages, and I told him as much. Almost immediately, he began sharing with me his tweaks to it. There was even a spreadsheet. Then, when Kevin posted photos of his pizzas inspired by the Netflix series Chef’s Table: Pizza, I thought, People need to know about this guy. He should be an inspiration for the home pizzamaker.  There is so much chest pounding about pizza ovens out there. It’s tiresome. I have nothing against the ovens. I have nothing against the people who use them. Some of those people are doing amazing things with them.
But for the most part, when I see consumer-grade outdoor pizza ovens being touted around and about on social media, I also see a lot of (choose one): a) confusion b) scorched crust c) nonsense d) all of the above An oven is just a tool. It does the job it’s supposed to do in concert with the skillset of the user. There is also nothing wrong with using a home oven to make pizza. And with 20 years of making pizza—half of it with a 1,200-pound wood-fired dome oven living inside my kitchen—the electric home oven remains my favorite way to make pizza. Am I just a gadfly?  Real bakers think I’m a heretic. And, of course, the online pizza people are right there with the real bakers. They’ll jump right in and say, “Don’t listen to him! He’s wrong!” Well, like I say at the very beginning of Free The Pizza!, I have no professional training. I don’t know what I’m talking about.
Here’s what I do know: after 20 years and more than 1,000 pizzas, I’ve figured out some things. And one of those things is that weighing the ingredients isn’t some kind of silver bullet. And I don’t think, as a beginner, you should a) have to buy a kitchen scale, and b) be lulled into complacency by watching the numbers. Free The Pizza says: All hail the mozzarella-shredding supremacy of the Big Cheese Danger Box!9/17/2022  This week’s Saturday Afternoon Pizza Post was going to be about the Netflix series, Chef’s Table: Pizza. But I can’t do it. It’s too long. It’s too cumbersome. I’m too overwhelmed by the brooding, self-important filmmaking that makes tortured souls of these fantastic professionals who deserve to be portrayed as joyful and excited. It was making me brooding and angst-ridden. And you don’t want me to make you read that.
The easiest recommendation about the series is this: watch episode #1 and take inspiration from Chris Bianco. He is a pizza God who brings joy to the series. And his canned tomatoes are excellent. Instead, I’m doing a U-turn today. I’ve put Netflix on the back burner. Instead, I’m going to talk about something that brings me joy. And if you’re someone who loves using good tools that function well, you will find joy here as well. And perhaps there will be blood.  Don’t hate me because it’s French. Mise en place is a phrase that’s used in kitchens around the world. Mise en place can change your game in more ways than you imagine. And as a bonus, mise en place also refers to something you never expected. It involves psychology and is going to mess with your head in a good way. I promise.
If you don’t know mise en place, here’s a rough phonetic pronunciation that will probably get me into trouble with my high-school French teacher (she was an American chauvinist for France who had no sense of humor and always wore double-knit slacks): you say it “meez on plass.” Or, as the pros say in pro kitchen slang, “Meez.” Like, “How’s your mis?” Or, “Is your mis ready?” Contrary to popular myth, it has nothing to do with Les Mis-erables.  There’s a problem with Pizza Social. (In case you don’t know, Pizza Social is the social mediasphere where self-appointed experts dogpile on to tell you that you’re doing it wrong with your pizza.)
Example: You post a photo and say, “This is my first pizza! It’s not round. But it tastes great. Yay, me!” Reply: “It’s not round!" "That cornicione is too big!" "What’s your percentage?" "Your dough hydration is too low! You need to be at least 65% hydration! More water!” You’re a beginning pizza maker. You have no idea what this means. You’re just happy you made something that tasted great. Step one: solved!  People’s heads are exploding. Just a few pictures on Facebook, and some simple remarks peppered with snark, and…WOW! Who knew that a New York-style pizza could cause such a stir? It’s like people are seeing fire for the first time. And here’s the irony: if you read Free The Pizza! (sub-title: A Simple System For Making Great Pizza At Home Using The Oven You Already Have), you have the potential to make a pizza that’s far more interesting than a New York Slice.  Introspection is good, right? But I probably spend way too much time having thoughtful internal debate about things like, “Is it possible to make a banh mi pizza?” Or, “Is there a place for leftover shrimp and andouille gumbo on a pizza, or will it require a spoon?” “What about a deconstructed clam chowder pizza?” I haven’t done the banh mi pizza yet. But I have tried the other two, and I can say they were moderately successful. But there’s a man whose pizzas are over-the-top inspiring. They make me consider pushing the limits of what “belongs” on a pizza. A Little Book About Pizza Saves This Guy A Bunch Of Money And Gives Him Something To Do With His Son8/12/2022  “Okay my first outing with the oven, the pizza steel and Blaine’s book. It was AWESOME! Thank you! So much easier than making pizza on my Big Green Egg, and saved me a fortune from buying a wood pizza oven!”
That is the email I woke up to one morning earlier this week. A gentleman named Frank sent it through the Free The Pizza website, along with a photograph of one of his pizzas. It's the photograph at the top of this post. (That's prosciutto under all that arugula, in case you're interested.) |
AuthorBlaine Parker is the award-winning author of the new, unusual and amusing how-to pizza book, Free The Pizza. Also known as The Pizza Geek and "Hey, Pizza Man!", Blaine is fanatical about the idea that true, professional-quality pizza can be made at home. His home. Your home. Anyone's home. After 20 years of honing his craft and making pizza in standard consumer ovens across the nation, he's sharing what he's learned with home cooks like you. Are you ready to pizza? Archives
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