Declaring Your Independence: Transforming Pizza With Revolutionary Ideas

You are here at Free The Pizza because you buck trends and fly in the face of convention. And from the reviews and emails I receive, it’s clear that you are on board with the whole low-level kitchen iconoclast thing that goes on here. You are a special human being.
 
How does one not love this homemade pizza thing? All kinds of pizza lovers gravitate here. Male and female, working pros and retirees, hippies and military officers, artists and musicians, airline pilots and architects. From New Hampshire to Hawaii and uncountable places in between, there is one common denominator: You are a Pizza Independent.

A lot of my deep-scrutiny nonsense and brain-smoking imponderables happen in the love seat in my den. As I was squashed deep into the love-seat cushions yesterday (Independence Day), I knew my mission of finding a Founding Fathers Day quote about pizza was a foolish undertaking.
 
The only thing more foolish would have been not undertaking it. That's how we roll: wobbly. 
 
But finally, it appeared: Founding Father James Madison had something to say that we can torque and twist to fit the conventions of Free The Pizza. Ready?
 
 
“The class of citizens who provide at once their own food and their own raiment may be viewed as the most truly independent and happy.”
 
Suddenly feel seen and recognized by a man dead for almost 200 years?
 
There are not a lot of Pizza Independents here who grow their own food, though I know there’s at least one admirable gentleman farmer among us.  
 
But I see “providing their own food” as a fluid concept. It can mean things besides farming or hunting—including taking control of producing a simple, delightful food that we have inexplicably assigned to the jurisdiction of commodity purveyors who are more interested in quantity over quality.
 
In 30 minutes or less or it’s free? With a little foresight, I can make it myself in about 10 minutes for almost free—and tastes better. I can have a party and make great pizza for half a dozen friends for the price of a single, floppy cheese pizza from a joint up the street.
 
As for the “raiment” portion of that little declaration of independence, I’m also going to wager that nobody here is making their own clothes from the ground up.
 
 
(Yes, I had to look up the word “raiment,” too. I’m just not that smart.)
 
But the people I know who make their own pizza have a leg up. From what I’ve witnessed, the Pizza Independent is a happy, industrious person who enjoys taking charge and making things happen.
 
Anyway, aside from the “providing their own food” connection, how does James Madison fit into any of this?
 
Is there a connection, or should I just have my creative license revoked?
 
James Madison had a reputation as a remarkable man: he brought intellectual depth to the cocktail party, had a calm demeanor, and was politically shrewd.
 
He’s considered the father of the Constitution, and wrote or co-wrote the 85 essays about its magnitude that became known as The Federalist Papers. That collection remains today as one of the single most authoritative works for understanding the US Constitution. Declaring and protecting individual liberty was Madison’s bag.
 

That said, we have no word on how Madison felt about pepperoni specifically, or pizza generally.
 
But…
 
We do know James Madison loved his ice cream. His wife Dolly made ice cream very popular during her husband’s presidency.
 
And a special favorite was Dolly’s oyster ice cream.
 
See? Dangerous territory. This makes pineapple pizza look pedestrian. I see your Hawaiian pizza and raise you a double scoop of oyster gelato in a waffle cone.
 
IMPORTANT NOTE: Oyster ice cream is not a sweet dessert. It is a savory dish—basically a frozen oyster chowder, so it’s salty, briny and cold.
 
 
But beyond that, there’s a Venn diagram where pizza and ice cream have an overlap: Transformation.
 
Pizza and ice cream are both foods that give us the opportunity to transform benign ingredients into a delightful, mind-bending treat through a combination of extreme temperatures and flavorful additions.
 
Culinary transformation is a kind of super power.
 
Most people today say, “I can’t make that.”
 
But the independent says, “I should be able to make that.”
 
And then does. And people are amazed.
 
 
So congratulations on being a Pizza Independent.
 
For taking control and producing your own pizza. For knowing that just because a topping is unusual doesn’t make it evil. For even reading this far. Because I know: you had an immediate gag reflex at the words “oyster ice cream.”

I also bet you began reconsidering it when it suddenly turned savory.
 
I admit, I think I’d prefer clam ice cream. I believe clams make a better chowder. And as it happens, I know they make a better pizza. How about that?
 
Hope you’re having a glorious holiday weekend filled with independent greatness and transformative fun.
 
Free the pizza, my friend. 

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A lot of big-time professional artisan pizza makers once made their first pizza in a home oven just like yours. You can do it, too. My weird little award-winning book is one way to make it so. The book is about how to get from zero to pizza using the oven you already have. Besides learning to make great pizza, there’s not much else you can do with it. In fact, you can’t even use it to level a table leg if you buy the Kindle edition (which is less expensive than the print editions and has links to instructional videos and printable kitchen worksheets). To learn more about Free The Pizza: A Simple System For Making Great Pizza Whenever You Want With The Oven You Already Have, click here. ​